47 Lessons for my 47th Birthday! ??

To say that I’ve been fortunate over the past 47 years would be a great understatement.

I grew up with good people around me and get to say that I am born and raised in Bend, Oregon and am a 4th generation Bendite. My parents are unconditionally supportive. I went to college on a volleyball and basketball scholarship and actually use my degree for inMotion:)

I have amazing friends that support and challenge me. I’ve been able to enjoy so many experiences and have been able to build a business I love (although I had no idea what it took to run and still struggle here and there) and continue to strive to be better daily not only for myself but for my clients as well.

And, obviously, best of all, I have a wonderful family, with Seth, Harlow and Bella and all of our amazing animals we have had over the years being the best part of what are almost always good days.

Along the way, I’ve learned many lessons.Some of these I’ve shared before, as so many ‘truths’ will show themselves over and over again…while others are lessons that have recently come into focus. I get excited about birthdays, and not just my own because it’s not every day you get a ticket for a 365 day trip around the sun. Yesterday, I turned forty seven. At least I turned 47 on the outside, on the inside I’m forever thirty five. This birthday I took some time to reflect on all the things I’ve learned and then I wrote them all down just so I don’t forget them (because there is a direct correlation between my increasing years and my decreasing brain cells.) So in no particular order, here are my forty seven life lessons, one for every year of life. Some are business related while some are life and relationship related... Let me know what your lessons this year are....

Enjoy!

Alright, here we go....

1. Taking risks is part of life. You take a risk every time you get in your car or buckle up in an airplane. But really, everything you do in life has a risk to it. Committing to a job has a risk, committing to a spouse has a risk, investing your money has a risk, and making a hard decision has a risk. I would say from my experience, the risks pay off more often than not. Will they always pay off? No, of course not, but more often than not they do.

2. Stop living someone else’s dream. Reread number seven. We’re here for a good time and a short time. Why would you want to live someone else’s life? In today's social media heavy world we only see people's highlight reels and we tell ourselves “if I could only be like them.” What you don’t see is all the shit going on behind the scenes and how they are just using social media as a distraction for how crappy they actually feel. But now, we tell ourselves “I wish I had what they had.” Too many kids went to a school or took a job that they didn’t want, but their parents told them it would be good for them. Too many people are not doing what they truly love, out of fear, they are living someone else’s dream. Life is too damn short to not be doing something you love.

3.  Relationships are the biggest difference maker. Spending time with people who are goal oriented and positive is crucial for your success.  If I look at pretty much anything positive in my life, it’s hinged on relationships.Spending time with the people I care about and enjoy. Being supported by others, personally and professionally.Investing in others to pay it forward.It’s all a wonderful reminder that life is a team sport.

4. Your environment matters. Just like a goldfish, you may need to change your water. Way too often we “swim” in toxic environments, whether that’s in a toxic work environment, a toxic relationship, etc. Change your water.

5. Quit Trying To Avoid Change. Everything is continually changing around us. Sometimes it’s more noticeable than others – but it’s always changing. Embrace it and keep evolving.

6.  Life is better with a dog in it.No really it is...they love unconditionally and don't judge us for our poor decisions. 

7.  Life is short, eat the damn cake. Just remember everything in moderation. 

8.  You can't create something that is going to make everyone happy.  If you try, you'll end up making no one happy and yourself miserable.In this day and age with bullying and so many negative people you have to learn to let things go and realize that not everyone is the best fit.

9.  Work ethic matters, but you can only work so hard.  At some point you have to focus more on the "right things" and delegate/eliminate the rest ( I am still working on this but have taken a huge step with our new website and 97 designs.)

10. Weight training/Conditioning/Working out/Exercise/Barre/Mobility/Yoga/volleyball/walking MOVEMENT is the fountain of youth. 

11. It's never too late to start but if you wait for the perfect time to start you will be waiting forever

12. Sunshine and nature are great for your physical and mental health and Vitamin D. Get more sunshine!

13. Play to Your Strengths. I talk about this a lot, but it’s because there is rarely a day that goes by that I don’t see the difference that it can make first hand.Virtually everyone I know who achieves big things takes this approach and most everyone I see who under-achieves spends too much time on things that fall outside of their strengths. Look around at anyone you find to be successful in any endeavor…they’re more of a specialist. Focus on being the best in a few areas and fill in the other areas of need with others who are strong in those spots. I am still a work in progress at this but am really trying to let others help or delegate tasks that do not require me to do them.

14. All or nothing usually leads to nothing.  Slow and steady wins the race

15. Tough times don't create tough people, they just show your true colors whether you are tough or not

16.  Stop Blaming Others. Sure, others play a part in everything we do, but until we take responsibility for everything we can, we are perpetuating the problem. It’s common to see a person blame someone for a hurdle along the way while simultaneously creating a dozen other hurdles themself. Don’t be that person. Control what you can control.The only person's actions you can control are you own.

17.  Live In The Present. No matter how much time you spend thinking about the past, you can’t turn back the clock. And the most important thing you can do for the future is to do your best with the moment you’re in.

18.  Less screen time more reading.  Seriously imagine if you read self development books as much as you spent time on tv or on social media where you would be with your goals.

19.  Finding your "magic time" is crucial.  If you can find 1-4 hours a day with no distractions you can get a whole days worth of work done.

20. It’s never as much work as you think it is.Do you ever have this big project that just sits over you like black cloud? It seems so daunting, and because of that you don’t spend any time on it. BUT once it's done and completed think about how good you feel. We quite often make it up to be more work in our minds than it actually is.

21. Work life balance means something different to everyone. If you find immense joy from working then don't listen to people who tell you to work less because then you will have less joy doing other things.

22. You can't Control it All as much as we want to. Some things are beyond your control…but you can control how you react to them.

23.  You need a supportive partner in order to crush your goals (if you have/want a partner).

24.  Age is just a number I honestly feel only about 36 maybe 38 and am grateful for that. My 50-80 year old clients are crushing it in the gym and in life- sure we might have a few more wrinkles and maybe I can't run down a volleyball as fast as I use to and might wake up with a few more aches and pops BUT I sure have fun trying to do it.

25. You can do almost anything you want…but you can’t do everything you want…at least right now. Any achievement of significance requires focus, so you have to dedicate the time and effort needed to make it happen. That doesn’t mean you can’t accomplish everything that you want to…you very well may be able to…but you just may just have to do some things sequentially instead of simultaneously.

26. Caring can be a competitive advantage. Things like ‘nice’ and ‘honest’ and ‘courteous’ all the stuff that we associate with it like integrity, authenticity and anything else associated with just being a good person…it’s actually a competitive advantage in business.In some ways it’s strange that just treating others well can set you apart, but in a world where fine print and waiting on hold for 45 minutes are common, being easy to do business with and being genuinely interested in who you serve can be the foundation of a truly special business or help someone climb the career ladder.

27.  Workout all you want but if you aren't losing weight it's because you are eating too many calories.  This can be very very complicated and it's different for everyone but it's the truth.

28. Stress is real and we have to manage it. Similar to number 16, just like we can’t eliminate problems, I don’t think we can eliminate stress. In fact, some stress is good. It forces you to be aware, it forces you to make better choices. However, just like anything else, too much of something is never good. We know stress has a real impact on our mind and body. I can always tell when I’m under stress; I don’t sleep as well, I gain weight, I have more anger towards people. We all have our own outlets for stress, mine is reading, writing, meditation, and exercise. Find how you manage your stress.

29.  Accountability is key! If no one knows your goals it's much easier to quit.

30.  Don't spend too much time trying to change the past.  Take some lessons learned and use those to focus on your future

31. It doesn’t matter what you know…It matters what you do. If you don’t apply something it’s wasted knowledge. Action is critical for success. The most successful people often aren’t any smarter or more talented. They just actually do the things everyone else just talks about doing.

32. Invest Time, Energy and Money in Yourself. When you invest in yourself you can never lose, and over time you will change the trajectory of your success, your leadership and your life.

32.  Failing  to plan is planning to fail.  We are creatures of convenience.  If things aren't prepped and planned it is much easier to take the easiest option.

33.  They don't teach enough life skills in schools.  Instead of trading credits for memorization, more should be learned about finances and more applicable skills such as paying bills, how to get insurance, how to sew a button back on, cooking, changing a tire- REAL LIFE SKILLS.

34. The power of writing it down. If you took a few notes when reading this about maybe some small tweaks you want to make, or an action you want to do, you’ll get something out of it. If you just read it, get a little spark of inspiration, and then move on, you’ll be no different tomorrow than you were today. The power of writing things down is incredible. It’s not a guarantee that it will happen, but I do know that it’s a thousand times more likely to happen if you do write it down. I write down everything. My goals, my thoughts, what I like, what I don’t like, everything. The craziest part? I have things I wrote down in 2015 like “ten years from now I want to travel to these places, obtain this much financial security, or complete these projects.” And guess what, it’s not 2025 and those are already accomplished. Are there other things that I wrote down that have not happened, or a year later I decided I didn’t want to do anymore? Of course. But more got accomplished, and will continue to get accomplished by writing it down.

35. Time never stops. Life never stops. Fitness never stops. Personal development never stops. Being a better wife, friend and leader never stops. In the immediate future, that can be stressful. But if we take time to stop ourselves, the excitement that we can always get better, we can always do more, we can always serve more, that is what keeps me going.

36. We Don’t Get Clean Slates…But Our Past Serves To Teach Us. I can’t go back and make better decisions in my 20’s…but I can learn from that stage of life, do better now and teach others.You cannot hold on to the past, but you can learn from it. Don’t make the mistake of trying to stay in the past—life is about learning lessons and taking those lessons forward with you into your life.

37. The memories we make is what makes our life so great.I have a lot of great memories in my 47 years. I have memories as a kid going on vacation. You know what I don’t remember? All of the toys toy my parents bought me. I have memories from the early years of starting the gym, my mom painting and tiling while my husband was moving all the heavy stuff. You know what I don’t remember? What I bought during the first month for equipment. I have memories of all my animals being put to sleep as they took their last breath, memories of playing with my dogs or the funny $hit they did, and memories of all the things we DO, not HAVE, as a community, a team, and a family. Make memories, not a collection of stuff.

38. Communication. Communicate to your spouse more about how you’re feeling. Communicate to your boss more about what you like and don’t like. Communicate to your friends and family. Communication is how we connect, and we can never communicate enough. Most problems in business, at work, or in our relationships come back to a lack of communication. Talk out loud more. Communicate more.

39. It can wait. The e-mail can wait. Responding to the text can wait. It can wait. The world will not end if you don’t refresh your Facebook or instagram feed one more time. I write this, and really all of these, as lessons for all of us, myself included. Whatever it is, it can wait.

40. Success is never straight. We could all benefit from learning from babies. They don’t try walking, fail, and say “screw it, I’ll just stop trying.” They get up, try again, and again, and again. Anything in life that is worth having is not going to happen on the first try. Fall and get back up. Life is about better iterations of things, over and over again. The best version is never version 1.0.

41. Who is your Team? We all need one. Whether you’re a business owner or not, we all need a team. Who are the people that are not competing against you, but working right alongside you. It could be a supportive spouse, it could be some close friends, we all need a team. The largest accomplishments have always been, and will always be, team efforts. Even things like individual sports, they all have teams of people behind the scenes, and without those people, nothing would be possible.

42. If often doesn’t matter. We tend to stress, worry, and argue over things that don’t actually matter. I’m not saying it’s not worth fighting over something you believe in, and you can make change, but quite often the things we spend our time stressing over, arguing over, and worrying about are either so small it doesn’t matter, or it doesn’t actually have any direct impact on you. Will this matter five years from now? If not, try not to stress about it.

43. Freedom & Happiness. I believe that’s what we’re all after. The ability to be happy in the moment. Happy with who we have, with what we have, with who we are. Freedom. Freedom to do what you want when you want. Freedom to make the choices you want to make. Freedom to live life on your time, your agenda, with your goals.

44. Saying ‘no’ to most things allows you to say ‘yes’ to the best things.But the truth is that success comes far more often to those who are great at a few things rather than those who are jacks-of-trades. Consider saying no to more things to do the things you say YES to better. I fight this one all the time.

45. Doing the same thing you’ve always done will get the same thing you’ve always gotten. Sometimes you need to get out of your comfort zone to really move forward.

46. Never compromise your integrity, for anything or anybody. 

47. 1% Better. What are you doing today? Yesterday is in the past, we can’t change it. Tomorrow is not here yet. What are you going to do today? How are you going to get better today? Give your best effort today. Small wins stacked daily. That’s how I try to live my life, it’s treated me very nicely for the first 33 years, and I don’t plan on changing the approach. Wake up, do the best I can do, and go to bed knowing that I did the best I could with what I had. 1% Better.